Returning from Amsterdam

That was an interesting trip. For the first time in four days, I can remember the whole of my postal address.

Truly, though, I am taken aback by how amazing Holland – or maybe just Amsterdam – really is. Not just because it’s pretty much legal to do anything there (as long as you do it in the right place), but because I’ve never been scared of cyclists before. At crossings, cars will stop and allow you to pass. These crazy Dutch cyclists will literally come straight at you, with complete lack of fear or regard. I’ve come to think of them like Hitchcock’s ‘The Birds’. Turn your back on them at your peril. Sadly, that lesson took a long time to master as I was intermittently filling my brain with narcotics. Thankfully, my broken leg is mending wonderfully, and I only have to wear a patch on one eye.

Smoking weed aside, there was a fair bit to do in Amsterdam. We went to the Sex Museum, which wasn’t so much interesting as it was a little bit unnerving, basically checking out some serious hardcore pornography in public, all niches accounted for. Quite interesting when you have to point out to an elderly couple what was going on in the ‘pissing’ section.

We went outside Anne Frank’s house, for fear that being inside might make our cheerful holiday a little more pessimistic. We went outside it, though, and it looks like any other modern building from behind the gates and glass. I’m guessing they’ve kept in intact indoors, or it might lose its tourism value. I can almost imagine a tour guide saying “…and this is what Anne Frank’s place would look like if she were into designer collections and Twitter.”

A lot of our time was spent buying ridiculous amounts of food, for the nights at the hotel. Eating out in Amsterdam is pretty expensive if you don’t want a hooker serving it to you. What I will say is the food and customer service are fantastic there, almost everyone smiles when spoken to and seem to take a great deal of effort into their jobs. It’s a world away from what the UK is like at the moment. Oh, and EVERYONE speaks English, so for those who don’t enjoy foreign tongues, it’s pretty easy to get by over there. Just don’t try sarcasm, they don’t get it. When someone asked why I was over in Amsterdam, I said “oh, I like the shape of the buildings and being surrounded by homicidal cyclists”. Their response: “oh. Well, Rotterdam also has a lot of cyclists. They also have some buildings”.

Rotterdam next, then!

Although I really enjoyed my time there, I was very happy to get back to my girlie, my bed and my fridge.